Bless your heart?

A couple of weeks ago, I was praying for three friends who desire good things to happen in their lives: two dear friends want a husband; and one longs for a child. Each of these women know the Lord personally and love him. Praying for these women to be blessed in this way made me start to think about blessing, in general. Are these three women not receiving the Lord's blessing? That doesn't make any sense when we have a God who desires to bless us and to do so abundantly beyond our expectation. "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11. So what does "blessing" mean? Is it different than gift? Yes. I think. These are my thoughts.

It dawned on me that I have a myopic, rather than Biblical view, of blessing. I instantly thought of the times that "we" (those of us well-versed in Christianese) use (or misuse) the term and concept of blessed or blessing. I determined that it's often used in relation to getting what we want. I wanted that, I received it, therefore, I was blessed. "We got a great deal on our new car, what a blessing!" Or, we look at someone else's life and see that they have things that we desire and therefore, they must be "blessed." "You have a beautiful home, you must feel so blessed." Why? Because it's something that you want? "What a sweet boy, you've been very blessed." Why? Because you think he's perfectly behaved? That's not the litmus test for blessing.

Of course, all good things come for the Lord. So, it is a blessing to be able to work and make a living and afford a home. The Lord giveth and can taketh away. And blessings can definitely overlap with what we want. My marriage is a blessing. My child is a blessing. I wanted those things - doesn't make them less of a blessing. But just because we are not getting what we want surely cannot mean we are not being blessed. How self-centered of us, at least of me, to think of blessing in terms of "I asked for it and received it," me, myself and I. I shouldn't be surprised that we would take a God-centered concept and understand it in a totally self-centered way. Human beings are inherently selfish and self-centered. At least I am. How much bigger is God's framework of blessing?

I was instantly reminded of the beattitudes in Matthew 5, in which the word "Blessed are those..." is repeated over and over again. And not necessarily in the most desirable positions of life. Matthew 5:3-12:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Blessed while mourning? Blessed when poor in spirit? Blessed when persecuted and insulted? Obviously the blessing is the comfort, the inheritance, the kingdom, the reward. And not the mourning, etc., itself. But it is the mourning, etc., that God uses to bring us the blessing. Not many of us have prayed for such opportunities to receive blessings. Not sure I will tonight or tomorrow, either. But my point is, the Lord ably blesses us in all sorts of circumstances and blessing is bigger than just getting that for which we prayed.

My favorite verse while a teenager was Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Memorialized not just in my Bible but on my wall. In my prayer journals, in my diaries. I clung to that verse as I waited for Matt Humber to profess his love and eventually marry me. I loved the Lord and Matt was the desire of my heart. So... That was my misunderstanding the verse, understandably so, at 16. And 17. And possibly 18 and 19, too. It was a long wait. :) But once, as an adult, and freed of the melodramatic teen years, I did actually grasp the fullness of the verse, it remained a favorite verse through a completely changed perspective.

When I was in high school. Or middle school. Or college. Or all three. I remember my mother honestly telling me, "Oh, Becky, I know you better than you know yourself." Guess what? Totally infuriating. In fact, it was spoken in the midst of angst over knowing that the exact opposite was true. I doubt there is anyone walking the earth that can tell you that and actually be correct. I am confident that I don't even know my toddler better than she knows herself. But the Lord does know me better than I know myself and it's totally not infuriating to hear it because it is absolutely true. He knows my rising and my laying down, he knows my requests before I speak them, he knows my thoughts before I think them and he knows how many premature gray hairs I have on this 32 year old head. And he knew I would have them even before I was born. Thanks for that, by the way. And His word is absolutely true.

He will give you the desires of your heart - it's just that he knows your heart better than you know it. You may not get what you want, but you will always get what you need. I bet the Stones had no idea they were spreading a Biblical thought when they wrote that lyric. God is so good, that he doesn't just give us what we want - he gives us what we need even in the midst of circumstances we don't want. Don't curse the trials that allow the Lord to uniquely bless you.